How it all Started

• Do you know how much you spent this month 
•  Hmmphh.. guessing too much? (shit here it starts again)
• Your credit card is xxxxxx
• It can’t be
•  Go online and check we might as well have gotten Amazon stock at least get some of the revenue you are generating come back to us.
•  (defiant at this point) Well it is too easy to spend with credit cards I wish we only used cash.
•  Then spend cash, but we actually get rewards by using the credit cards
• But.. if I only spend cash  then.. how exactly can I shop online?
• You don’t
• (went down a very bad path here trying to spare the bit of an ego remaining ) I need a budget when I don’t have a budget I lose control especially with the plastic (swoosh swoosh such a satisfying action, and then you actually get to click the green check button.. then you get Approval ! wow dopamine rush in a few clicks I feel good even writing about it)
• There is no  budget just don’t spent that much
• (Walking away mumbling)  I really don’t know how I spent that much money – head hanging in shame

This conversation has been the soundtrack of our household making us both puff up like alley cats attacking each other. Although I am the guilty party I really am having a hard time remedying this. After all I am against the mercy of the most brilliant psychologists, and marketing strategists of our times being paid by the mega companies and a government whose sole existence is based on consumption.

Due to our surprise visit to France  - thanks Norwegian airlines Paris was not on my bucket list but 390 usd non stop roundtrip on a Dreamliner seemed pretty dreamy and stupid to resist – I got the opportunity to hold myself to a crash course on the country, its history politics, art, music and history scene.
 It occurred to me that things were really classy, art and music were valued by the rulers and after second world war when US emerged as the super power the whole worlds priorities stopped screeching  in their tracks  and the cranks started spitting out the new tune ‘ more, bigger  is better consume more and be happy’. History buffs if I butchered something apologies.

I recall that 20 years ago when we first moved to the US I was pretty frugal. After all there were hardly credit card usage in Turkey, you had to spend what you earned, there was no mortgage you bought the house you could pay for, same went for the car. 

In the first couple of years when I was not caught up in the big cranks of  GMMM- the  give me more more economy (that’s what I will be referring to consumer economy from now on as it does sound like a spoiled greedy kid after all try saying it really fast and it does turn into GMMM) I used to set rewards for myself.  If I lose 10 pounds buy the 40 dollar foot bath from bed bath and beyond. I know this as I am an anal collector.. I create spreadsheets, tables and love working through them, so I have the goal sheets food logs from those days.

Come to today thanks to the most successful brain washing of the GMMM ( it could also stand for God my mind is mundane) I do not even think about getting a quick dopamine fix by swiping swoosh, or just buying from Amazon, oh it got better just to spare me from the couple of finger actions there is Buy it Now! Just in case I change my mind before heading to the shopping cart and realizing what I was about to spend.

It is said that people build tolerances to drugs therefore some are highly restricted, funny that the same human behavior is encouraged for shopping and the whole countries economy and even existence is based on it.

You might say I am spoiled and I have all my basic needs met and should not be complaining. My husband actually calls this kinds of worries 1st World problems.

I think that problems are relative, that is someone who is barely making a living will laugh at this or possibly even get pretty furious at me. I get that. However I also know that this is a real problem for me and fixing this might actually enable me to make better decisions that would lead to helping others directly or indirectly.

Plus you can apply this experimend to any kind of resource. This is about Money, you can apply it to time by choosing how you 'spend' your time wisely. You can applyit to relations ' choose how and who you invest in'. And so on.

The basic idea is to make the resource tangible - a currency and then act within your means - your budget.

Coming back to the current problem. This is a problem not only because I am spending way too much money but also because I am not even getting joy out of the products I buy. There is no anticipation, there is minimal decision making, there is no weighing of alternatives it is just normal to just buy buy and swipe swipe. My husband gets worried if the box with the upward looking arrow – is it only me who thinks that it is a pretty weird shape or maybe I am too dirty minded – does not show up for a couple of days.

There should be a way to solve this problem after all I was a pretty good support analyst and am good in resolving problems turning adverse situations into opportunities.

Here is what I have to work with:

• I like buying things books, supplements, gadgets, houseware.
• When I use credit card I spend a lot more than what I would have spent paying actual cash.   
• Using credit card is pretty much unavoidable as only cash  rules out online shopping.

My goal is

to spend less and get more joy out of what I buy. That is a win for me and a loss for those who keep on blasting my inboxes telling me what to do what to buy, the latest ‘in’ concoction of the week.

Solution that will be put to test for 3 months:

-        
          Gamify spending.

What if I make spending into a game and the winner of the game is one that spends less.

After all the ultimate goal of buying (other than basic goods) is to feel good about ones self of taking ownership of something desired.

-       
  Throw in some tools: after all games are more fun if there are tangible tools to play with.

The reward of this game is built within, if I succeed or rather ‘survive’ it will be one of my biggest accomplishments.

The game is called HACK THE SPEND (HTS)

This is a very simple game, tools that are needed are:

-Poker chips

-Piece of paper

-2 medium sized boxes – big enough to hold the poker chips One labeled budget the other spent

I will be using Marie Kondo’s principle of ‘does this bring me joy’ when spending but will also add the question’ do I really need it’ this is done before the purchase.

After the purchase I will evaluate my purchases afterwards, a day later a week later. If there is any hint of buyers remorse I will analyze and determine what caused me to make that purchase and find a way to prevent falling into the same pitfall the next time.

 I am suspecting FOMO (fear of missing out) is going to be one of the major triggers of unnecessary dispensing of funds.

RULES:

• Determine a budget to stay within a certain period of time – after an initial trial I found out that having a shorter term like 2 weeks is better when starting out as it is quite a shock how hard it is to change the spending pattern.
• Set denominations for different colored poker chips
• Put the Budgeted amount Poker chips in one box
• As you spend, move chips that correspond to spent amount from Budget to Spent box
• Goal: Stay within the budget, or maybe even have some extra chips at the end of the period which you can either add to the following periods funds or buy whatever you want!
• If you bust the budget you start moving the chips back from Spent to Budget(which is empty) as you spend (backwards). At the end of the period you swap the chips thus starting the next period with less amount  - you practically took an advance.

Initially go generous with your budget as you might be surprised how much you are spending and it will take some time for you to train those ‘buy’ brain muscles to chillax. 

Go easy on yourself, even if you bust the budget don't snowball. Start again it will stick.